Somewhere (Uranus I think) there is an 8 activation and my 1.4 thriiiiiives on a transit in the 8.
Some thoughts today as I wind down;
The understanding that I am in a life of vastly not self. It’s not overwhelming today. It’s not frustrating. It’s not saddening to me today.
It just is.
Do I appreciate the ignorance around me? Is ignorance bliss? Would they know different, if they don’t know anything different?
Perhaps I’ve shielded away to discover how to face the not self within me- and I come out to see it play in others (who I can see)
It’s not suffocating today.
Somewhere satori clicked again. I can identify where my mind starts to go- Jesus does overthinking shit tire me out!
I see my splenic beginning to shine.
My 3rd line unconscious makes me laugh today- oop! I just slapped a side salad out of the fridge; my bad!
But the seriousness around me; the not self is inundated with some amazing pain. What a life we’ve lived before beginning deconditioning!
I wonder if the awe of life will ever fade now. My introspection consistently brings me joy, wonder, a kind of looking out at the world in a gasp, golly, how beautiful!
All I can truly say to the many who see me today; I love myself. I am no longer projecting bitterness, “stay away, I’m feral, don’t approach!”
But instead,
“I am here, here I am, waiting…”
And the invites are coming my way! Little things I notice; new people who reach out to me daily; taking my suggestions and inviting me to dinner! (That one is super cute and I looooove the Italian restaurant I am going to Monday!)
Animals approach; perhaps a 28-38 understanding there? I’ve been told many times over the weeks “that’s strange, he/she doesn’t like anybody and they are coming to you for pets!”
I can feel it from my fellows; the distortion stains their energy in a gorgeous waterfall. I breathe it in, I smile.
I told the fellowship a year ago exactly this Easter weekend “I am going to shine unapologetically for the unforeseenable future”
Oh! How I shine now!