My emotional wave & making art - just over here watching the movie 🍿🙄😄
You’ve maybe heard me talk about this before (feels like I talk about it a lot lately)
Here’s a perfect example of my emotional wave ‘sampling’ across time. And by time, I mean over night.
But first a mention of my 39.5 Design (unconscious) moon and the work around my 17/62 came to so my 16/48 can “go the distance”
Or at least this is the tale my mind is telling me atm 😆
It’ll also explain why I have you looking at wee wee pads 😂
Oh and my 3rd line coddiwomple is on full display for all of this. 🙃
So here’s what happened.
I tried to make a 4th flower to round out what I thought was going to be a collection of 4 flowers for this project I’m picking away at.
Turns out it’s a collection of 3 😆 because I waited till the next day to make that 4th one and my energy and ability had clearly changed in the interim.
Made a couple beautiful flowers, but they definitely weren’t part of the same set.
Normally this would be more than fine - I mean it is fine, just different than I was anticipating.
And my body has this puzzle to solve - to find a way to be consistent in outcome while simultaneously being an inconsistent and wavy emo gal.
That’s where my 39.5 comes in. I often refer to it as my “step around the shit” gate … the official key wording is more like “forget obstacles, because … ‘what’s an obstacle??’”
For it’s just a puzzle (of my own making I’ll be the first to admit) to solve - or not. Mostly this is all stuff I’m doing while I wait btw …
And when I have energy to solve a problem … I’m like a dog with a bone. 😂
Luckily, I know now to go to sleep and let the emo wave have it’s time these days. It’s all part of the ‘solution’.
Okay so, there I was last night with two beautiful flowers (I’ve added them as image 4 just for reference), but no collection that I was aiming for.
And I have this recognition about how shifting my energy and ability is from day to day, moment to moment.
There’s also a steep upward skill trajectory happening at the same time too - which means I basically can’t repeat what I’ve done previously atm - not till that levels out a bit. Which it will. My practice will hone and condition me to some sort of general flavor for this medium. I only know because Ive seen it 100 times before.
Right now it’s all a little chaotic with the trial and error of it all.
But back to the way I think I’ve solved the volume and consistency “problem” I was having and also again revealed the “I know zip about what my art looks like in any given moment” emo wave part.
The first three pictures illustrate.
I was messaging Naim and one of the great things for me about talking with people who have a defined ego - I can usually get a little burst of energy from that to ‘do’ something I’m thinking or talking about - instead of just thinking and talking about it.
That’s picture 1. I mentioned to her that I had this idea to set up stuff ahead of time for doing 4 paintings - essentially all at once.
The hurdle was to make similar marks on 4 different pieces and color palettes - so I set up a sort of production line.
Later in the evening, I had another burst of energy to pick some colors and set out the stuff I would need to do the doing, soon after that I added color to each piece. One step at a time across 4 pieces of paper. That’s image 2.
And I thought surely I was done for the evening.
But no. I came back to it again awhile later. And this is where the emotional wave watching gets crystal clear.
Nearly every petal looks wrong as I’m doing these. And part way through if I was looking at what’s in front of me; it basically all looks like a pile of dog poo as they’re coming together … and by the time I was done adding ‘petals’ (image 3) … I was sure at least one of these was gonna get pitched (or in this case wiped clean - like a dry erase board - with alcohol).
So I turned off the light and went to bed.
This morning I can see the flowers. 🤷🏻♀️
Obviously nothing has changed on the table.
Only my seeing has changed - with the wave.
And now, next time I have energy, I have 4 similar foundations to start from - thus effectively extending my “consistency “ stamina.
Or that’s the theory anyway :)
After that late night painting session - I am pooped though.☺️
Thank goodness the goal isn’t production work - gonna let the printers do that.
Finally.
🍿🍿🍿 nom nom nom