“When we move to the Bonding Strategy the 4th line deals with the Confidante or Not.

And as we’ve seen, remember how difficult this is for the child. If you are a 4/6, when you are a child you really are a 4/3.

So at the unconscious level you’ve got a theme of Bonds Made and Broken, rather than Soul Mate or Not.

So what happens is, you begin by naturally being attractive to others in terms of your friendship capacity, but that part of you that says leave me alone, that part of you resonates to that unconscious 3rd line theme.

In other words, that makes it very easy to break the bonds. So this is a child that has a different ‘best’ friend every other day.

They can go to school and they can go through all kinds of different relationships. And, of course, breaking the bonds of those relationships is [about] something inside of it that they’re not finding.

Again remember what happens to them – because it’s 4th line, because it’s the opportunist – if they don’t wait to make the new friend, if they just leave one friend behind, it’s going to get more and more difficult as they go along to actually build a friendship with anyone! Even though they are attractive to the other.

So they go through this theme, and, of course, the 3rd line theme at the unconscious level is pessimism, not the optimism of the 6th line! Remember that all 6th lines go through this transition in their life, from being inherently pessimistic in the first 30 years to finally finding their optimism.

And the optimism comes from the moment of disengagement, so they have that opportunity to be able to see that there are possibilities, that they are out of the morass. But the 4/3 child is deep in the morass.

So this Confidante or Not – what happens to them is that they end up making a friend, they end up being a confidante, the bond is broken, and then whatever they said to that friend can get carried in the wind around them.

Basically what happens is that they can end up with a lot of negative energy focused on them.

They are inherently attractive – you want to make friends with a 4th line, you just do, it’s a natural thing. Remember – our auras do the talking!

A 4th line person puts their aura inside of you – they automatically open you up to friendship. Automatically!

So you have a lot of disappointed people with the 4/6 when they are young, because they don’t get the kind of bonding in that friendship that they expect.

And that 4/3 in that stage of its life will quickly break a bond when it does not get its opportunity soon enough.

Those opportunities begin with – after all as a 4/6 they want to be able to externalise the foundation: “My mother/father says...”

As a child, they want to get the foundation out. “This is the way things are,” they will say. And yet at the same time they will discover that there is resistance with others.

After all, the 3rd line will bring people into their lives that aren’t necessarily the right kind of friends for them – this is a bumping-into theme.

And they will be challenged in terms of what their authority really is – they’re going to be challenged in what’s fixed in them. And they are not going to like that!

Their response to that is “Leave me alone” and break the bond.

But it also creates pessimism at the unconscious level – that they become uncomfortable with what that foundation really is.

They become uncomfortable with whether or not that foundation is really secure.

Remember, in those first 30 years at the unconscious level they are an anarchist – they are really ready to tear things down – and for a 4/6 that can be devastating.

A lot of 4/6s crawl to the roof of the house feeling empty. Empty – it is a 4/6 quality!

They can be so disappointed through that 4/3 experience that they crawl up just feeling empty; that nothing is really there for them.

It changes the moment they get to their post Saturn Return.

When they crawl up on the roof they come to their 6th line theme – and that’s the Soul Mate or Not.

Think about what happens to any 6th line in that phase when it’s looking sexually at intimacy with others: all 6th lines have this process in which – because they’ve disconnected – they’re looking out around them to see if there is anyone who has a good relationship.

You will find that 6th lines will end up having affairs with their friends, or their friend’s lover.

Because they will notice after years of being friends – 4/6, being aloof, 6th line, observing – that their friends have a great relationship. And that would be a nice relationship for them to have.

So they finally see at that level that that’s interesting, and it’s a classic 6th line to say, “Well, I would really like that!”

And out of that friendship comes – you know, your wife makes love to your best friend, or your husband makes love to your best friend – it’s a very common phenomenon.

And it’s particularly common of 6th lines, because while they are not engaged, that part of them that is idealistic is looking out there for what its soul mate could be.

And remember that they are born to know what doesn’t work. When they see something that does work, it’s incredibly attractive to them.

So the nature of the 4/6 can be a real dilemma. After all, the 4 personality cannot have intimacy until they had friendship first.

That’s the first thing, that’s the only way that that’s ever going to work. So they have to have friendship first.

And, of course, what we’ve seen is that in the first 30 years they learn to be pessimistic about friendship, that it really isn’t something that necessarily works, and they may not have discovered that friendship leads to sexual intimacy, but instead simply lived out their frustration.

The moment that they go up onto the roof of the house their friendship opens them up to that possibility – but they are already aloof.

And then what they are looking for is, they are looking for what’s perfect! And they will wait! And it doesn’t mean – they get to a point where they assume it will never happen to them.

This is classic 6th line!

The only way they can keep themselves disengaged is by reminding themselves that things don’t work.

And by doing that they can see very clearly: “No, there is no such thing as a soul mate out there. It doesn’t work for anybody else – there is no reason for me to think that it’s going to work for me!” It’s part of the way in which they keep themselves from having to deal with that.

So imagine the dilemma for the 4/6 when it has to enter back into the world. It’s got to come down off the roof.

It has to do that, because if it doesn’t, we don’t get the juxtaposition. In other words, we don’t get to the transition, to the transpersonal. So in that moment when they come down off of the roof, when they come down the ladder, then they have to re-engage in relationship. And they have to re-engage in relationship as an example themselves.

At a spiritual level, for them to see that all relationships – when you are clear, and you are yourself – all relationships are soul mate relationships.

All relationships are perfect and are exactly what we should expect them to be.

At the moment you enter in clearly yourself, you discover that it is a myth that there is a special combination! It’s a myth!

All of us can have deep and enriching relationships with each other.

They don’t all have to be sexual, they don’t all have to be deeply intimate, but they can all be clean.

And in being clean we can appreciate what it is to be humans together. Which is what it’s all about!

To eliminate the resistance between us, to be able to see each and every one of us as members of the same blood type, blood field, this genetic grouping that we call humanity. That’s the real soul mate.

After all, we are all in this together. And we actually all belong to the same body.

So it’s kind of funny to assume that we are going to have to need some special combination in all of that.

We are all the special combination!”

~Ra Uru Hu