AARQ - projector feeling used when someone just comes for guidance and off they go again
If you’re new here AARQs = Andrea answering random question(s)
Some days are rich with them, others not so much. Always happens first thing in the morning.
Seems like there’s a quota /limitation / something that exists because when I wake up to client questions, the forum ones like these maybe don’t even get seen or there’s not energy for them.
But unlike private client convos, which are, of course … private. These public forum exchanges, well … they can be leveraged into AARQ posts … unexpected right mind mining ⛏
Here’s one of a couple posts I hope makes it over here already today.
‘Cause that’s the other thing, I also often mean to do this, but just don’t quite make it, or the sharing is a little complicated with backstory or … yeah my open head and … squirrel 🐿😅
Here’s the question that was posted -
“I have been left feeling increasingly confused by my interactions with people over the last little while, and by modern day communication generally. I take everything at face value so I do find myself feeling really confused when someone disappears from my life without a word, or actively starts ignoring me in person.
I do take the experiment fairly seriously, and will not enter into interaction initially with people unless they initiate. But it doesn’t stop my mind going crazy when the invitation is then, I guess, removed. I think this has been brought to a head today where I had a friend reach out, whom I haven’t seen or heard from since my mums funeral, and ask for advice. I gave the advice, and that was it. End of interaction and I’m left feeling a little used. Was there no recognition? Does it need to so mechanical as ‘hey, you give good advice, can I have some?’, rather than just ‘what do you think?’. I feel like the former wouldn’t have made me feel any better about it.
I miss just hanging out with people. Is that a thing? All the mind? People will reach out and suggest meeting, and I say ’sure, let me know when and where’ and nothing.
Sometimes this whole thing just seems so mechanical. And things seemed a lot easier before I delved into all of this.
I am RAX of tension. Is it all down to this? Am I actually just hard to be around?
I will post my chart, not for any particular reason, and I’m not even necessarily looking for answers. Come next week I will very contently have sunk back into the way of things.
Anyone else?”
There’s some great other replies too - I can go grab the direct thread and drop it in the comments.
But here’s the clarity that got pulled out of my Mind. :)
“Not every recognition has to be answered.
Especially with a defined ego - clear ‘what’s in it for you’ matters.
And being emotionally defined (I am too), you know nothing about whether you actually have energy for spending in this person’s direction in that moment.
“Is this an emergency?” is something I find myself asking myself and others quite a bit. Let them come back later, or not.
People who value my time and energy are always interested to wait.”
That last sentence especially - hard won - but is also absolutely true.
For all Projectors imho. Though we each have our own decision ways and means. 🤗
PS the picture doesn’t entirely match up with this post but it’s what I found and it’s true 🤗☺️
The search also took me to some good stuff about recognizing others in places of work (for you I think Debbie)
PPS. I just realized my P Sun 27.1 (essentially self-care so you may be available to others) and that 16.5 (Grinch gate - I forget where atm) are at work here 😊🥰
Yep, Just over here watching my own mechanics 😄🍿